


A Little Birdy

by mortenavida



Series: MCU Kink Bingo 2018 [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Modern Bucky Barnes, Not Beta Read, Shrunkyclunks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 07:10:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15552384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mortenavida/pseuds/mortenavida
Summary: Someone is tweeting that they want to kill Captain America. Fury looks into it with unexpected results.





	A Little Birdy

**Author's Note:**

> I blame my stuckyau bang peeps for this.
> 
> Square Filled: Misheard Conversation

Fury stared at the intern in front of him, almost giddy with how nervous the poor kid looked. Sometimes he didn’t enjoy making people nervous around him, but there was something nice about it, still. He arched an eyebrow as the kid wrinkled the folder in his shaking hands, stuttering over apologies for interrupting him. Eventually, Fury just held up a hand to get the kid to stop talking, then he leaned forward and rested his folded hands on the desk.

 

“You’re the one assigned to Rogers?” he asked, taking hold of the impromptu meeting.

 

“Yes sir,” the kid squeaks out. “The Threat Detection Division.”

 

They really needed to rename that. Fury motioned for the kid to hand over the folder. “We get dozens of threats an hour toward Captain Rogers. Most of which you have assured us aren’t actually threats.”

 

The kid blushed, which surprised Fury. After all, the intern used to be in the mailroom before he overheard a conversation about how someone wanted Captain America to murder them, and he explained that it did not mean at all what everybody else thought. Since then, he had strictly been assigned this single position and had been doing well in separating the actual threats with the nonsense.  To see him in his office was actually a little worrying.

 

“Most of them are, yes,” he agreed. “But...”

 

Fury looked up from the folder. “But?”

 

“There’s one name that keeps tweeting things. At least five times a day sometimes.”

 

Fury opened the folder and it took all he had not to widen his eyes at some of the things he was reading. “And he’s been called in?”

 

“Yes, sir. He’s downstairs now.”

 

Fury stood, closing the folder. “Thank you, I’ll go take care of this.”

 

The intern (and really, Fury knew he should know the kid’s name at least) scurried off. Fury waited a few more minutes before making his way to the interrogation area. He was surprised to see Steve standing outside, looking through the window and into the room. He stood next to him, assessing the man inside the room. He was young, but looked cocky enough that Fury knew he couldn’t let his guard down. A smirk was on his face as he told off Sitwell and commented on the man’s baldness and silence.

 

“What do you think?” he asked Steve.  The Captain just shrugged, so Fury moved past him and into the room.

 

“Another one? Are all of you bald? Is that a requirement of working with super scary people?” The man leaned back in his chair. “Kind of boring.”

 

“Less morning maintenance,” Fury said before taking a seat. “Know why you’re here?”

 

“I’m assuming I, or an unknown identical twin of mine, did something stupid.”

 

Fury opened the folder and cleared his throat. “‘Captain America can stop with his posing or I am going to kill him’.”

 

The man leaned forward, eyes wide. “Are you...”

 

Fury continued. “‘Next time I see Captain America stroll past my apartment in his sweat-stained running suit, I will drag him inside. How is this legal?’”

 

“I’m seriously in here for this.”

 

“‘He’s at it again and if someone doesn’t take him out, I will.’”

 

“Who do you work for?” Sitwell asked.

 

The man shook his head. “Listen, I don’t know why you picked me and not anybody else out there--”

 

“You have five-hundred threatening tweets against Captain Rogers,” Fury told him. “I would start talking if I were you.”

 

The man let out a long sigh, staring at the ceiling. “Of course.” A blush came over his face. “I, uh, don’t want to kill Captain America. It’s kind of hard to explain.”

 

“Try,” Sitwell said.

 

“I am, I am.” He seemed to get a hold of himself before he stared straight into the two-way mirror behind them. “It’s a sex thing. So instead of saying that I really want to ride Captain America like a racehorse, I say I want to murder him. Instead of saying that I’d go down on my knees any day, I say that I want to stab him or something.” He hesitated. “Though I’m not sure I’d be joking about the kidnapping thing? Because then he’d be in my house and who knows what would happen then.”

 

“Probably nothing,” Fury said, both amused and irritated. This was the most uncomfortable conversation.

 

“Are you sure about that?” The cockiness was back. “I mean, you can’t tell me that Captain Rogers is straight. There are pictures of him checking out Stark’s ass.”

 

Fury arched an eyebrow before standing. “I think we’re done here. Stop tweeting about Captain Rogers and you won’t find yourself back here.”  The man saluted as Fury left. He saw Steve again and, well, he wasn’t blind. He motioned toward the room. “Want to take him home, Captain?”

 

Steve tried not to grin. “If I must. Duty calls. The folder give a name?”

 

He handed it over. “It did.”

 

“Hm.” Steve flipped through a few of the tweets before going back to the first page. “James Barnes?”

 

Fury shook his head and walked away. “I don’t want to know, Rogers.”

 

After that, the tweets did stop technically. Now Barnes just tweeted about how sore he felt and how much he loved America. Sometimes, Fury really hated his job.


End file.
